“Cats are aloof.”
“Cats are anti-social.”
“Your cat doesn’t really love you, they just want food.”
“Cats are spiteful.”
“Cats are merciless.”
Utter, sheer, unmitigated, balogna.
As I write this, the primary cat who owns me, keeps patting my arm to remind me she’s there. She likes to just hang out near by when I’m doing things, rather than going off and sleeping by herself. She’s not a lap cat, but rather a sit near you cat. She’s very loving and the feeling has always been mutual for us.
Do cats love? They do – very deeply at times – and if you learn to look and listen and observe, you’ll see that. For example – when a cat is gazing at you and giving you that slow blink, that means “I trust you.” And sometimes “I love you.” You can see their love with body language and facial expression, and by how much time they want to spend hear you. They also grieve very deeply and they remember their lost friends quite well at times.
Some are going to say “cats are just animals, they don’t have feelings.” Lately, though, it’s been discovered that though smaller than a human’s brain, a cat’s brain matches about 90 percent of the structures we have, especially in the emotional centers. What’s more, a cat’s face has many muscles that exist for the purpose of making expressions. So when your cat seems to be smiling at you, they really are, and when they look sad, they probably are. It’s not anthropomorphism to say this, those behaviors have been observed and confirmed.
Cats get a bad reputation though because they aren’t groveling sycophants. They are deemed untrainable because you have to motivate them properly for them to decide to do what you are asking. I’ve gotten my cat to sit, even lie down on command, but it’s plain that she’s deciding to agree to my request, not giving me a rote response.
They can be incredibly intelligent – I knew a cat who would use bottle caps as containers to carry things in, and would eat his dry food only after picking it up with his paw. I knew another who ran away from her mother, crossing two yards with big dogs in them, so she could be with the only house who would offer her help – that is, us. How did she know that? We’d never met her before. And yet, she knew just where to go at a bare few months of age. I have played long games of “boop the nose” with Nezumi, where we’ll take turns booping each other’s noses. She can tell time to some extend. I’ll say “not yet, in an hour Nezumi,” and sure enough she’ll come back for whatever she wanted… in an hour. I and many others could go on and on.
A cat will choose if they want to be part of a relationship and they’re pretty hard to bribe. However, once a cat has decided your’e pretty okay as people go, it can be a beautiful experience. They will be loyal with you and the experience will be incredibly special.
2 thoughts on “Aloof Cats”
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Yes trust is earned by the human. I share life with a feline who has a deep ingrained fear of the world. And yet I wake every morning to him lying by my side. He has chosen to give me his trust. I do my best to honor that gift. I also share life with a feline who was not nurtured in her first months. She came to us brain damaged and I believe her ferocity stems from those early moments of not being held and talked to. Its been five years since we met and now she allows us access- but only to a certain extent.
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