Behold! I am the Lizard Lord! Watch as I do pushups to impress all the ladies! I am Lord of all I survey, which is pretty much… this wall, um, and some trees, and oh, some brick planters… and doves! I totally survey the doves too!
Did I mention I’m related to giant dinosaurs? And so what if I’m only a foot long?
Laugh not at my blue belly, for I rule this backyard!
…Signed, the Spiny Desert Lizard.