Apparently, I’m a daredevil.

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I didn’t know this before, but apparently I’m incredibly brave!  I throw myself in the face of danger all the time.  Yes, it’s true.  I knowingly, and willingly, eat uncooked sprouts!

I’ll give you a minute for your heartrate to drop.  I don’t want to cause an MI, here.  But there’s more.  I also… eat eggs with runny yolks.  And I drive a car without side impact airbags so it’s not built a mile off the ground and still has decent visibility.

Not only that… but for my next death-defying act, I do all my own braking and shifting.  Every last bit!  By all the propaganda, I should be dead by now.

I think I’m going to need to be fitted for a spandex outfit.  What color do you think my cape should be?

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